Crazy Book Porn Confessions #8: Captured by Cavemen (Captured by Cavemen #1) by Laura Bliss

 
My Guilty Pleasure:  Crazy Book Porn

Some of it I love, some I find amusing, some are so weird I can't help but like it, and some just leave me confused and wondering why.

I read Crazy Book Porn and these are my Confessions.

When a completely new piece of jungle is discovered, Rose eagerly signs up to go exploring with two professors and some fellow students, including shy Carly and slutty Larissa.

They are there to study nature, but they soon find themselves the ones under observation. When Rose and Larissa are captured by cavemen they find themselves the sexual playthings of well-endowed neanderthals who don't like to play gentle.

This book contains sex scenes of a highly erotic nature and the series will contain aggression and dubious consent.

So... there is mild jealousy, light girl on girl action, voyeurism, and some caveman dong.

There are three girls, "the virgin", "the slut" and Rose.  One has a full bush, one is completely bald and thanks to some creative razor work by "the virgin", Rose has a "rose" landing strip.

Let's not forget, while doing her Edward Razorhands impression, she also did a little pussy tasting and stroking.

And... "the slut", she's really not that slutty.  She won't even suck a dick. Apparently, she also likes to just lay there and not participate.

Rose... she like it's rough... and when the cavemen come along with their 11" soft dongs, she is here for it.  She watches "the slut" take it like a champ chump... and she is wet and willing when it's her turn.

And then... 

Needless to say, I was left disappointed and unfullfilled.

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Review: Mercenary Princess (Mercenary Socialites #1) by Setta Jay

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A crown princess living a dangerous double life and a sinfully sexy Russian billionaire with a ruthless penchant for collecting secrets: a match set for disaster.

For years, one man has ruled Sophia’s fantasies. The harmless obsession keeps her warm on the nights her double life starts to take its toll. She, unfortunately, gains his attention at the worst possible moment, when she’s in the middle of a dangerous job. Now, she’ll be forced to protect her heart along with her life of lies.

Viktor has been tempted by the innocent princess’s lust-filled glances for far too long, and he has fought hard to resist her beauty. When her secrets finally draw him in, getting through her royal guard proves a minor inconvenience. But one sexually charged night isn’t enough. He wants more, including whatever she’s hiding beneath that demure façade.

As much as Sophia wants Viktor, she can never fully allow him in because her secrets aren’t her own. Viktor is determined to have all of his princess. Will they find a way to be together, or will her dangerous secrets tear them apart?

*Complimentary copy received from author for review purposes.

Ya'll, this review has been a long time coming... and I mean like almost 2 years long in coming. I'm horrible and hopeless, I don't know why Setta keeps me around. On the bright side, I've read this book about 4 times, and I never got tired of it. Every time I read it, and get ready to review it something happens. This last time I thought I had it down, but then... COVID. I fear if I don't do this now, the apocalypse will come and it will never happen. I'm not sure I'll have the resources for blogging and reviewing in a post apocalyptic society.  Will there even be books?

This is not what we've got from Setta in the past, but it's every bit as dirty and every bit as good.

You've got a smoking hot bossy Russian, a badass sneaking around as a pampered princess, lots of dirty dirty that will no doubt lead to some spontaneous orgasms, and a suspense filled plotline.

If you like your romantic suspense with lots of secrets, a few royals, and a tad of organized crime, definitely have a go at this one.

Setta Jay

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Review: Sticks & Stones by Santana Blair

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She thinks he’s looking for a come up.
He just thinks she’s stuck up.

Both Darcie and Elijah step foot onto the campus of Pembrook Academy with one thing on their minds… getting out. Darcie wants nothing more than to finish high school and know that her spot in the Ivy Leagues is secured and waiting for her.
And Elijah?
Well, Elijah just wants out.
It was never his idea to go to Pembrook in the first place and now he’s stuck spending his senior year with a bunch of kids he has absolutely nothing in common with. Then, she came along. From the moment he meets Darcie Fitzgerald, he knows she is going to drive him absolutely crazy. But nothing could have prepared him for how amazing crazy would feel.

Darcie has ninety-nine problems and Elijah Benitez is now her biggest one. He seemed to coast into her life from out of nowhere, and she has neither the time nor the patience to deal with him. But every time she tries to put a little distance between them, life shoves them closer together and Darcie finds herself in a situation far more complicated than she could have ever expected.

They’re both about to learn a few things starting with lesson #1:
Not Everything Is As it Seems

Sticks & Stones is a YA modernized retelling of Pride & Prejudice.

I was anxious and excited about reading this. There are a couple of reasons for this. The first is that I don't generally read YA and the second is that I know absolutely nothing about Pride & Prejudice. As much as I'd love to go into all of the inner workings and parallels between the original and the retelling, I won't be able to and that makes me sad. It's one of my favorite parts of reading "retellings" and "inspired bys".

All that being said, I am so glad I read this book. I am over the moon that it was suggested to be a "Book of the Week" on Facebook. I can't say this has turned me on to YA, but it has turned me on to Santana Blair and I'm sure I'll be reading more of her books.

I'm not even sure how to review this book. I know I liked it, I liked it so much that I've made it required reading for my daughter.

That PLAYLIST! You guys! The playlist fit it perfectly. Almost every single song on the playlist matches up with scenes from the book. And that, that right there, made me squeal and smile and almost cry.

Sticks & Stones is one of those books that is written so well that you forget you're reading, you're just watching that movie playing in your head. I had thought at one point a Disney movie, an updated High School Musical.

I guess the next thing on my to do list is to either watch or read Pride & Prejudice.

Santana Blair

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Review: Annabelle and Lee by Danielle Allen

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Release Date: January 19, 2020

My grandparents had a beach house tucked in a cove on the shore, and I spent every summer until college there. Some of my best childhood memories were from my time at Heathrow Beach. Mostly because I was head over heels in love with my neighbor Lee Thompson.

He was adventurous.
He was brave.
He was twelve.

But my eleven-year-old heart knew he’d be the one I’d end up marrying.
Lee was my first kiss, my first love, my first everything.
But the summer before my senior year in high school, Lee never showed up. In fact, I didn’t hear from him again.

Almost twenty years later, I found myself back at Heathrow Beach looking for answers.
And finding more than I bargained for.

** Annabelle and Lee is a contemporary romance inspired by Edgar Allan Poe's poem Annabel Lee **

*Complimentary copy received from author for review purposes.

First off, I have to say, this is probably one of my most favorite times of the year.
Every January I am blessed with the task of reading a Poe inspired novel.
A tradition three years strong and I hope like hell it keeps going.

When I hear that Danielle is writing a Poe inspired novel, I always wonder how she will twist Poe's words into something that will have a different, yet still deep meaning. Even though I know she's done it before, I'm always thinking can she do it again?

Well, people.  THE ANSWER IS YES! Yes, she definitely can.

You guys, this book... this book is just so, I don't even know what it is. It just is.

This book had me all over the place.  I was smiling, I was crying. I was mad, ooh, I was soooo mad. I was ready to cut a bitch. I was ready to jump in this damn book and start calling folks out and do some damage. I had theories, ya'll... the theories I came up with. Theories on top of theories on top of theories and still I was coming up with some of the most ridiculous things trying to piece it all together.

I know the rules with Danielle. I follow the rules with Danielle.

If she says "read Annabel Lee first". You read it first.
Because you know she is going to weave it all up in there and all those easter eggs will be so much fun to find.

Umm... I could not even think about those fun little gems because I was so distracted with this story and caught up in my own feelings about it.

By the end I was done. D.O.N.E.
Done with Poe.
Done with Annabelle and Lee.
Done with Heathrow Beach.
Done with using "summer" as a verb.
Done with Danielle Allen and all her brain scrambling.
Done for all of 15 minutes.

Danielle Allen

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