My Guilty Pleasure: Crazy Book Porn
Some of it I love, some I find amusing, some are so weird I can't help but like it, and some just leave me confused and wondering why.
I read Crazy Book Porn and these are my Confessions.
All Lucy desires is three human men and one magical night, and she'll make everyone's holiday dreams come true.
Lucy hitches a ride into a city on Christmas Eve, courtesy of a naughty Santa Claus. She magically drops through a chimney and into a house shared by three gorgeous, muscular male roommates: Red, Cole, and Ty.
The lusty lady goes from room to room, waking up each handsome man in her own special way, until all four of them are merged together in one epic sexual climax. Once airtight, Lucy knows just what to do.
Ya'll!
I feel so bad about this.
I'm going to do this post about this book, and I don't know if you can get it anywhere anymore. I am unable to find it anywhere at all. So unless you were lucky enough to snatch it up when it was available and just haven't had the chance to read it, you may not be able to.
I've read it before, but it's December and what's better than a really dirty Christmas story?
Not a damn thing. So, I read it again... I may make it a December must read. Who knows! 'Tis the season and all that jizz!
It's a super short story, but it's entertaining and amusing. I keep laughing, just thinking about it.
I'll try to just go over some highlights.
Lucy is an elf who works in the Dildo Department at the North Pole. Also her nickname is Fingercuffs. Her elf boyfriend's weiner, just ain't cuttin it for her, so she wants human schlong. Not just one, though. No, Lucy needs to stuff all her holes with human schlong.
Lucy is lucky enough to "intern" with Santa on Christmas Eve. This way she can have her human dicks. Its a little trade off with the "Ho, ho, ho Man".
At any rate, Lucy eventually gets to her 3 men and they stuff her full of whatever it is they have. Honestly, this wasn't really interesting to me. I was more interested in Santa and Lucy in the sleigh.
But I just wanted you to know that she eventually got what she wanted.
Now, what we learn here is all kinds of traumatizing if you are a Santa fan.
-Interning for Santa means, you blow him.
-Santa and Mrs. Clause have an open relationship, so all is well.
-Santa's ding-a-ling tastes like sugared gumdrops.
-Santa's jizz is peppermint schnapps. He gets off, you get drunk.
-Even Santa wants to go in the backdoor.
If that isn't enough for you, Santa's sleigh and the magic of Christmas is all powered by elf orgasms. Elves get dropped all over to go have sex with humans so that the Christmas Magic can keep on humming.
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